Photo by Jonathan Safa on Unsplash

This is a PSA for all the ‘nice guys’ out there — please kindly fuck off.

Before you get your back up, let me explain. No, I’m not a man-hating bitch. Seriously, I love my boyfriend and he’s a nice guy, but that’s beside the point.

I’m just tired. Tired of you using your ‘nice guy’ persona to excuse inappropriate behavior.

I’m talking to the guys who lurk around women hoping that if they’re nice enough, they’ll get something in return. Like the guy who followed me through the grocery store, grabbing hard-to-reach items, only to get upset when I…


DATING & RELATIONSHIPS

Here’s how to spot them early

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Much to my lesbian mother’s dismay, I turned out to be heterosexual. Unfortunately for me, this meant I had to learn how to navigate the rocky landscape of dating in the 21st century on my own.

While I became adept at recognizing the signs that a guy is an overt asshole pretty quickly (ie. he’s rude to wait staff, he refers to other men as ‘beta males,’ and he unironically asks to be called ‘daddy’), it took me a lot longer to figure out the more subtle signs that a guy is bad news.

Now, after 17 years of dating…


Welcome to the Millennial quarter-life crisis

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Do you ever look around and feel behind in, well, practically every aspect of your life?

Where’s my graduate degree? Engagement ring? High-profile job? Baby bump? Shouldn’t I be further along by now? Why does it look like everyone is moving forward in life, while I’m just out here treading water?

Welcome to the Millennial quarter-life crisis. There are so many of us that we should get jackets.

I was in that exact same existential spiral when I stumbled upon the book The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter- And How to Make the Most of them Now by clinical…


No, this isn’t about taking more bubble baths

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Let’s face it; face masks and bubble baths aren’t actually self-care. While I love pampering myself as much as the next person, I’m a firm believer that true self-care isn’t sexy. No, I don’t have an issue with bubble baths — I swear — but I do have a problem with substituting commercialized ‘self-care’ rituals for authentic self-care practices.

Genuine self-care often requires you to do the ugly thing, the thing that causes you some discomfort. It means taking care of yourself in the realest sense — doing the thing that will ultimately improve your life in the long-run.

While…


What to do when you’ve been avoiding important tasks.

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Ironically, this story took me an entire two weeks to write — and not because procrastination is a particularly complex or difficult topic to write about.

The reason it took so long to write is because, for some arbitrary reason, I decided that it was going to be ‘the one.’ This would be the story that set my writing career in motion; an original and thought-provoking piece on the psychology of procrastination. Surely, this one story would launch my Medium earnings into the big leagues.

Do not do this. Don’t place an inordinate amount of importance on a specific task…


Advice from a fellow novice writer

Screenshot taken by the author

This screenshot was taken on September 10th, 2021 — 14 days after I published this story that went ‘viral.’ (Okay, it didn’t actually go viral, but it did get upwards of 12k views which was huge for me.) I’m not putting this out there to brag. Far from. I just want this piece to feel more relatable than reading advice from some Medium big shot with 100s of thousands of followers.

Take this story as proof that it’s possible to have a small following a gain 100 followers quickly.

And no, it definitely does not involve publishing every single day…


Lessons in finding a better match

My boyfriend loves to tease me about the fact that I swiped left on him. It’s true, back in my Hinge days, I was a ruthless left swiper. I was so hell-bent on finding Mr. Perfect that I almost missed out on Mr. Right.

Like many single women, I had a laundry list of characteristics I was looking for in a potential partner. This was a snapshot of my top 5:

  • Tall & handsome
  • White-collar profession
  • Athletic
  • Witty banter (over text and in-person)
  • High IQ

Ben’s profile didn’t exactly check all the boxes.

It read 34-year-old male, no employment indicated…


You could do worse, but you could do a lot better

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Let me guess, you’re feeling unfulfilled in your current relationship?

“But every relationship has its slumps,” you tell yourself. And yet, you’ve got this nagging sense that they’re supposed to feel better than this.

“But relationships are hard. They take work,” you tell yourself. And yet, you feel exhausted, like you’re pushing a boulder uphill alone.

Where is the line?

How do you tell if it’s just a temporary phase or if you’re settling for a poor relationship?

Here are 8 powerful signs.

1. Your relationship only works in the future

The first tell-tale sign that you’re settling is banking on the idea that your partner will change…


In defense of all things ‘basic’

Photo by Melike B. from Pexels

My boyfriend rolled his eyes as I let out a small shriek of delight. Up until this point it had been a very uneventful grocery shop. But as we rounded the corner into the dairy aisle, my eyes fell upon a bright orange carton nestled amongst the other over-priced milk alternatives.

As we drew closer, it became apparent that my favorite non-dairy brand had released a limited edition pumpkin spice coffee creamer. I could practically feel Ben’s exasperation as I flung open the fridge door and excitedly grabbed a carton. …


Finding joy in the daily grind

Pardon the melodrama.

My job isn’t that bad, really. In fact, most days it’s borderline enjoyable. But still, there’s something soul-sucking about giving 40 hours of your life every week to something that you’re not exactly passionate about.

It makes you feel exhausted, and not the kind that can be fixed with a double shot of espresso or a really good night of sleep. No, it’s the kind of tiredness that makes you feel a little numb, like you’ve lost the plot of your own life.

Any of this sounding relatable, or is it just me?

Regardless, I’ve never been…

Ruth Burrowes

Foodie and freelancer with a passion for running in circles (400m circles, to be exact.)

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